The Nowhere was a place with creatures so weird: two-headed ducks, people who lived in palm trees eating pieces of plastic, dogs who had wings and cows with four heads. It was a very happy place…until the Fire-Heads came. The Liz-snakes almost faded away! But the talking trees killed them all! Peace was back, but not far from ending.
Now it wasn’t the beginning of time, but it was a long, long time ago. The Liz-snakes roamed, the Butterdogs flew, and the fairies twinkled and sparkled.
But it didn’t live up to its name. The Nowhere was somewhere and you would notice it. It was easy to do it, too. All you had to do was look around. Oh! It was somewhere!
Everyone knew just one little town called Stupid lived up to its name. All the Fire-Heads did was sit and stare. The town of Everything was very exciting. There was no running or screaming. I heard a traveler say it was the best place to stay. All the flowers have faces. The sun does as well.
“I thought I was dreaming,” said another traveler boldly. “It’s a beautiful place. It is bright and colorful. It’s very efficient: no cars, no gas stations…of course there are no gas stations. It just occurred to me, if there are no cars you don’t need gas stations. Maybe they save money that way.
They didn’t know that trouble was coming to Nowhere. The Fire-heads were coming. They were three miles north of Mount Klug, which is right outside of the Nowhere. The trees weren’t loaded, the Liz-snakes weren’t ready to strike. Not one of them was aware they were about to be attacked.
The Fire-Heads were getting closer and closer every second. That’s when the trouble came to the people of Nowhere.
There was a long (very, very extremely long) battle. The Fire-Heads were winning. There was more trouble than there had ever been, and if the Fire-Heads won the king of Stupid would be in control of Nowhere.
But one person, Eeken Sploggen came in with flaming sword and killed them all and peace in Nowhere came back.